Why am I always disappointed when making friends?
Actually, it's not that others have changed.
It's because you initially imagined the other person to be too perfect.
Many people make a common mistake in interpersonal relationships.
When you first meet someone, you think they are perfect and trustworthy.
But when she discovered his flaws one day, she began to feel disappointed, even thinking, "So this is the kind of person he is."
Because we are used to viewing people in a black-and-white way.
They're either good or bad people;
It's either excellence or failure;
They're either friends or enemies.
The Kui hexagram in the I Ching speaks of the differences and disagreements between people.
Many conflicts don't arise because the other person has become worse.
Rather, it's when we discover that we have differences and shortcomings that...
This leads to conflict, and even complete rejection of the other side.
However, what the Kui hexagram truly wants to tell us is...
It's not about rejecting differences, but about accepting "harmony in diversity".
People are never exactly the same; they are different.
This does not mean that anyone is right or wrong.
On the other hand, the Tongren hexagram discusses how people establish relationships.
True "sameness" is not about demanding that others be exactly the same as yourself.
It's not about idealizing the other person.
Instead, it is about recognizing each other's shared values.
They are also able to accept each other's differences.
Yin contains Yang, and Yang contains Yin;
People with strengths also have weaknesses;
People who have made mistakes may also have a kind side.
A truly mature person
I won't condemn someone entirely just because I see their flaws;
We will not blindly worship someone just because of their merits.
✅When judging people, consider the whole picture; ✅When getting along with others, leave room for maneuver.
✅Accept that others have gray areas, ✅and remind yourself that you also have gray areas.
Because none of us are perfect.
When you stop defining others in black and white, you'll find that...
There is less disappointment and less conflict between people.
True wisdom
It's not about dividing people into good and bad, but about using # to understand the complexity of human nature;
True maturity is not about demanding perfection from others, but about learning to find common ground in differences and to tolerate differences within those commonalities.
This is the wisdom of life that the Book of Changes teaches us.
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